“Be Neutral” “Be positive”

Be positive is a common terminology for a desirable constructive quality or attribute. This means many things like being constructive, practical, useful, pragmatic, productive, helpful, worthwhile, and beneficial, effective etc…Looks like being positive to be the only way out to have a desirable attribute, hopeful and confident. Lots of quotes and themes are around these and lots of professional courses are available on how to “be positive”

Obviously there is no one recommending “be negative” as these are the exact opposites of “being positive”. Yet there are equal numbers of negatives available to perfectly fight against or oppose the positives. But the common advocacy is always towards being positive

Since there exists both positives and negatives, relative to each other, both these states cannot be of equilibrium and hence either being positive or being negative can be stressful as these quite don’t seem to be natural states in relative world. Being un-natural is always going to be stressful.

Consider an Atom, the building blocks of elements, building blocks of every matter. Atoms are always neutral with equal number of protons (positives) and electrons (negatives). Few atoms also have neutrons within the nucleus along with protons. Neutrons by themselves are neutral, neither positive nor negative. Hence an atom is always neutral.

If an atom looses an electron then it becomes a positive ion. If it attracts an electron, it becomes a negative ion. In both these cases, positivity is always there. Only either the electron is lost or gained. Hence “being positive” means loose negativity, discard negativity and being negative is adding on to more negativity. In other ways we can interpret the same thing as addition or deleting the protons. End result is one and the same as both compliments relatively

But an ion is always not stable, be it positive or negative, it’s just not stable. It tries always to become neutral balancing the positivity with negativity.

When nature’s law doesn’t permit an atom to “be positive” (or negative) forever, is it possible for us being built by these atoms to be positive (or negative) forever? Doesn’t look quite possible. To “be” something else other than what we are in itself a state of un-equilibrium. It is just not possible.

Then how can we be positive always in this world of relativity? It is only possible when we rise above relativity. A crude example below may help us understand the same.

Imagine a fertile land. A fruit yielding crop (positive) or a poisonous weed (negative) can be grown in this. But the land is neutral to both, unaffected, ever existing. The land doesn’t get attached to either positives or negatives as these two are only offshoots. Anything of these can be grown again and again and hence a fruit yielding crop (positive) can be grown on this forever. It is our choice to grow positives or negatives.

Hence what we choose and from where this choice stems from becomes of utmost importance. Our choices can emerge from ego (material desire or creation or relativity or captive energy) and from intuition (soul desire or creator or absolute or infinite energy). If from ego, ultimate result is negativity and misery and if from intuition, the ultimate result is positivity, joy, bliss, peace. Only way to be positive is being with the creator and not with creation, being with soul and not with ego, being with God and not with Maya.

Don’t bother too much if ego takes over. It’s quite normal to get entangled into relativity and it’s our choice. In this path, try first to achieve being neutral (neither positive nor negative). This is the only chance you create for yourself to move in the positive direction always.

Thereafter, choose to listen to your inner voice and the same stems from neutrality, calmness, silence, tranquility. Baby steps “to be positive”, is to be calm first, then listening to your inner voice, henceforth it knows only one way, which is to be positive.


Often the word enemy gets associated with pain, hardship, struggles, fear, anxiety and many more. Hence always to get rid of these, we tend to get rid of the enemies. Eradicating the enemy is thought of as the most potent way to ward of the painful experiences. This is a general and common tendency as the opposite of enemy; the friend is associated with happiness, pleasure, comfort, relaxed and the like. The question arises as to why enemies are disliked and friends are liked?

It’s unfortunate that commonly everything gets measured on relative scale. The very essence of relativity is to know the opposites equally well. When it is certain in the relative world that for every good thing there exists an equally bad thing like for friends there exists enemies, they the question arises again as to why the likes and dislikes? Again the terms good and bad are relative here.

Any pleasurable experience is liked and the opposite is disliked. This is the attraction and repulsion. Any pleasurable experience is comforting the ego and the opposite does not. Hence anything that gives pleasure is commonly liked and the opposite disliked. Basically the ego satisfaction is thought of to be providing happiness and hence liked. Is this really or virtually true? This is again a question to be answered.

Throughout the life time we swing between likes and dislikes, attractions and repulsions. Basically it becomes a pendulum kind of operations where we keep on swinging from one extreme to the other. Extreme hardship is discomforting and hence we tend to switch with greatest momentum towards the other opposite which is comforting. In this process we move farther apart as we tend to swing with at most momentum. There is one point in this swing which gets crossed twice in one cycle which is the neutral position which quite often gets un-noticed as our momentum is to swing back to comforting position whenever we are in discomforting position. Like swinging back to friends and getting away or eradicating or at least having the false illusion of eradicating the enemies. This is again driven by the ego because the law of nature will have friends and enemies, the likes and dislikes and our ego needs the likes for it to be satisfied and enemies quelled.

Life is full of learning’s; it’s a school where we all come to learn some lessons. If we don’t learn then we get more chance to learn same things, hence wise decision is to learn in every step of life, as soon as possible, as fast as possible. That’s the only choice we have. Great would be if we can provide and create ourselves the opportunity to learn. Hence is it enemies or friends, choice is to seek learning’s from them instead of getting entangled into the vicious swinging pendulum of likes and dislikes, ultimately tending towards Ego satisfaction. Choice is to seek what quality in us gets developed because of them, good or bad? Keep the good and mitigate the bad, make life a continuous process of learning and make enemies or friends as catalyst to boost your learning.

Friends are soothing, comforting, as they tend to accentuate our strengths. Strengths are comforting and hence in a way, we use friends to boost our ego. We like to have more such likeminded people around us as friends who shall make us more comforting and satiating the ego. Ultimately it’s our choice, it is not the friends making us boost our ego; it is our choice to boost ego using friends. We can as well choose the right friends to boost our spiritual developments.

Enemies on the other hand, aptly hit on our weaknesses. This is directly hurting, challenging and make us to struggle. We consider these experiences as bitter as this hurts our ego directly. Again it is not that the enemies are hurting, it is we take things personally and get hurt. It’s our choice to get hurt and enemies are only catalyst in this regards

What if we choose to mitigate weaknesses when we are exposed by our enemies? What if we choose to take bull by the horns? Will this approach not be blessings in disguise to convert our weakness to strength? Will we not do this in record time? In that case can we not treat enemies as our true friends?

Same approach can be used with friends as well. Instead of boosting the ego, can we use friends comforting to further accentuate the strengths? Will these enhanced strengths enable us to mitigate our weaknesses? Again it’s our choice, friends are only catalysts.

Having used enough of the word Ego, it’s time to define the same in what parlance this word is being used here. Anything outward, bodily satisfaction, the feeling of “I” ness, I am the doer, I am better than others are typically Ego. Be it friends or enemies, we need to choose from experiences arising, the qualities to quell the Ego. Again it is our choice to do it; others can be used as enablers.

Having spoken of likes and dislikes, this forms a macrocosmic version for all opposites existing in life. These are the two extremes and in between there do various proportions of these exist. Every individual can define the limits for themselves for likes and dislikes. This takes the pendulum approach defined by laws of nature (Maya) to bind us within the world. We cannot change the laws of nature, but we definitely can change the way we respond to the same. That’s the gift of free will and choice given to us by the almighty. It’s only a matter of how we use it.

With the gift of free will and choice, if we think of both enemies and friends as different characters in our life, see them as we see a movie, enjoy the same with not getting attached, we can choose with our freedom to be at the neutral position of the pendulum where it is neither friend nor enemy, macrocosmically, neither likes nor dislikes. With this approach life will be balanced and wonderful, life will be full of happiness, life is full of joy, all these are because we are not swayed by either the likes or the dislikes bloating the Ego, we are anchored, in control, self control, of ourselves, which is the utmost freedom we can enjoy and freedom is the only way for development. Development can happen only when you are free by choice. Hence always choose to be neutral. That is when you are free.

With all above, I conclude “Enemies are friends too”. Because the only choice for learning, development is to be free and have freedom and the same is possible in neutral position, anchored permanently there with indomitable will power. That’s the only choice and that’s the only path.

All above are free flow from my experiences in life, there are innumerable ways and possibilities for the same to be interpreted and concluded, all will be right in this relative world, but all said and done, above have worked for me. In fact, I learnt from my enemies ( or friends ) more than my friends, or rather, enemies gave me the opportunity to learn fast as they hit me on my weaknesses big and large. Hence Enemies are my friends too